Being adopted is not all that cracked up to be all the time. By being adopted myself I have a hard time with it sometimes because I feel out of place in my adoptive family and sometimes with friends. After meeting my biological family, it makes it even harder for me to fit in because I know that I share genes, traits, and other things with my biological parents and siblings. I want to have a relationship with them, but it is really hard because they live in another state and they have their own lives. Also sometimes I feel like I'm betraying my adoptive parents. When people hear that I'm adopted, they ask why and many people's answers can be different from my answers. I think adoption is not all that great is that because I have trouble with my feelings towards my biological family and fitting in with my adoptive family. Also adoption is difficult for anyone involved.
Even though I feel like this, I am truly blessed with both of my families and that I'm adopted, but I would adopt if I had the choice later in life since I want to help a life of a child in the foster system.
Kim C.
Kim C,
ReplyDeleteI myself am a adopted. I used to ponder on why my biological parents never left a bread crumb for me. After reading your post it reminded me of why I rather not be in touch with my biological family. It would be nice to know who brought you into this world, but heartache often follows it. This is not to say that those who are adopted are better off not knowing who their biological family. I have read personal stories on the internet of those who have been adopted getting in contact with their biological families. Some people were overjoyed with getting in contact, others not so much.
People have to accept the fact that they may or may not want to be in contact with you, for different reasons of course. If they do want to be in contact with you that's great, but don't expect for them to change their entire lives because you've been reunited with them.
The other situation is having your adopted parents feeling as if their not enough. I have family friends who waited until their parents died until they searched for their biological parents. Everyone is going to do it differently of course, there is no right or wrong way.
I hope that you find peace with yourself and your family. It took me a while to be at peace with myself about being adopted. I just look at the bright side of being adopted into my family. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I love my family with all my heart and wouldn't have it any other way. I'm sorry you don't feel like you fit in with your adoptive family, but maybe you should sit down and talk to them about it.
Blood related or not, your family are the ones who are there for you, love you, guide you, and don't want to live without.
Natalie Allen